he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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