Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
