wakey wakey hands off snakey
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize