saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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