So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
