CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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