Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize