New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
