Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize