One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
