3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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