She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
