Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
