Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize