I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The adults are the big ones right?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
