And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
