Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
