At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
