I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
