Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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