But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Randomize
