It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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