Me too!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize