I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
