I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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