After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
