I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
