Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
