I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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