my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
