if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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