how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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