Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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