If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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