just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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