The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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