i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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