Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
