WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
