ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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