Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
