I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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