I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Who died my cat blue again?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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