Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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