that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I want a musical about memes.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
