That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
