you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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