As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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