Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
