Small penises have feelings too.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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