Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
