I heard we made out
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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