I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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