They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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