I am in a vortex of obligation.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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