He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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