'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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