Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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