Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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