my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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