I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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