what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
