So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize