His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
